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Community Corner

Facebook Parenting: Bad Medicine?

What do you think of the man who put a bullet through his daughter's laptop? Is it harsh or justified parenting?

Many of you have seen the popular Youtube film circling of the father who put bullets through his teen daughter’s laptop. Tommy Jordan, father to a rebellious teenage daughter posted a public comment and video on Facebook to his daughter and her friends. In this video he is responding to nasty commentary she made regarding her parents via social media. He decided that since other punishments had not worked with a similar prior situation, that it was time to take drastic measures. In the video, this North Carolina father reads his daughter’s Facebook posts and then shoots his daughter’s laptop.

Upon watching the video my first thought was “good for him”. Too many parents let their teenagers say and do whatever they want. Many teens have no fear of consequences and no concept of work or responsibility. The economy isn’t the only reason so many young people are still living at home and don’t have steady jobs—it seems as though many are taking much longer to grow up.

It is all too common to hear a friend lament about his or her 25-year-old child in their 6th year of college still living at home. I also hear of “adults” whose parents bail them out continuously for drug offenses and crime. They are like a perpetual Peter-Pan—never wanting to grow up and never accepting responsibility for their actions. Their friends and family are enablers, thus hurting them in a sense by not allowing them to “face the music” and truly become an adult.

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Taking too long to grow up? This seems to be the polar opposite of what we hear and read. “Our kids are growing up too fast” everyone seems to say. Multimedia technology exposes them to sex and violence at an early age. Their bodies are maturing at a faster rate. Schoolwork and extra-curricular activities take up more time and require much more effort than ever before. We hear and see the loads of stress they are under. Why then are so many seeming to stall-out the closer they reach to adult-hood?

We hover over them trying to “protect"—are we really hurting them instead? Don’t we learn by falling that we can get back up again? Are we allowing too much independence in some areas and not enough in others? Do we give them free reign on the internet but won’t let them venture out of our yards? Do we expect them to go to college and become career-minded individuals but have never taught them to have responsibilities at home?  

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I like this Dad, Tommy Jordan. I think he has the right idea. His child is expected to be respectful, do her chores and accept punishments. These are the same sort of things she will be expected to do in a career and as an adult—to do the things she is supposed to do, to be respectful and own up to mistakes and face any ramifications from her actions. This Daddy is preparing her for adulthood. He knows that a slap on the hand is not going to turn his daughter around. Sometimes a wake-up call is needed. 

If he chooses to give that wakeup call via a bullet through a laptop he bought, then that is his own business. He has not put her in harm’s way; he has taught her a lesson—one that she will remember for a lifetime. There are no “free rides”. There are consequences to one’s actions. Sometimes we need bad tasting medicine for our own good, even if is a bit unconventional.

What do you think of Tommy Jordan's story? Is it harsh or justified parenting? Share your views in the comments!

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